March 2010

The Missing Link

Tom is 46 years old and has been happily married to his wife Sarah for 19 years. Tom is a banker and his wife stays at home with their two children Johnny and Kate. Tom and his wife appear to have everything together. Their kids have done well in school, they have been involved in their community, and are heavily involved in their local church. As time moves on the kids get older and Tom and Sarah are able to enjoy a different phase of life. Johnny is about to graduate from college and Kate is in the application process at a school that their family loves. With the kids being older, Tom has been able to focus more on his career, and his company has offered him a promotion in Chicago. Tom makes a trip and feels as though that this is the right career move for him. He is encouraged by his wife and the people at their church. Tom and Sarah are also excited to find out that their son Johnny has found a great girl that he wants to marry when he graduates. They don't know her spiritual condition but she goes to church with them every Sunday and the local pastor has agreed to marry them after graduation. Now, spring forward 2 years. Tom and Sarah are miserable in their marriage. They live in a great community in Chicago but have not been able to find a good church. Johnny and his new bride are separated because he is not meeting her expectations and she is tired of going to church every Sunday. Kate is not doing well in school, she misses her family and is not able to see her parents very much. She feels disconnected and has a boyfriend that her parents do not approve of.

What is the solution to this family's problems? They are all Christians but they now find themselves in situations that appear to have no way out. Who should they turn to other family, friends, their old pastor? Where would you turn if you found yourself in one of these various situations?

There is a missing link in this story. Many of us would look at the outcome of this family and shake our compassionate heads and say, "those poor people." But, what if I told you that you were a part of their problem? This family's problem did not start when Tom made the decision to go to Chicago. This problem started in their local church. You see, the answers to the issues this family was facing could have been helped by the missing link. Who or what is that missing link? A discipler is the missing link. Had they been discipled by a mature Christian, each of these family members could have turned toward that person and say, "Help me. Teach me how to avoid foolishness. Teach me how to make wise choices. Show me how my daily decisions can bring honor to Jesus Christ my Savior."

However, I would venture to say that the problem for this family along with countless other Christians is that they do not understand what a discipleship is. Many feel that this is the role of the pastor or of the local church. While pastors and the church play critical roles in this process, the truth of the matter is that you are the missing link!

Many of us have heard statements made in churches like, "discipleship is missing from our church", or "we should be more involved with discipleship." Maybe we have thought these things ourselves; desiring our kids or youth to be taught the Bible better. But, when the statement is turned toward us and we hear, "you need to be discipled" - "Uh... no thank you" is our internal response.

You see there seems to be confusion about what discipleship is. Many don't understand it and others are leery of it because it means sacrifice and allowing people to be close to you -- close enough that they may see you have faults or weaknesses. On the flip side, there are those who avoid discipleship out of a genuine humility. I say this because many times we fail to recognize our own spiritual maturity and doubt we have anything to offer another brother or sister.

Discipleship is not difficult to understand but a definition is difficult to find since there is no direct statement given to us in Scripture. From passages where discipleship is mentioned we learn that discipleship is a process and a practice (NOT a program). Discipleship is a process in which a Christian is learning the teachings of Jesus and applying them to their life so that their walk reflects Christ (1 John 5-6). It is a practice in that you are then taking what you have learned and teaching this to others (2 Timothy 2:1-2). When discipleship is set in the context of the local church it means being a follower of Jesus (learning and obeying). This can not happen solely on your own. It must happen in the context of a local church by Christians reaching out to each other. We are, after all, one body building up the other as we honor Christ, our head.

Discipleship is what Christ had on the forefront of his mind when he said "Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you" (Matt. 28:19-20). From this and other passages in scripture we find some basic marks of discipleship. These are what I would call the nuts and bolts of discipleship. They include relationships, instruction, example, accountability, and encouragement.

First of all, a relationship must be formed. These relationships must be formed within the body of Christ. They may begin at salvation, leading someone to Christ or when more mature believers (either in age, knowledge, or experience) come alongside less mature believers; all with the goal of honoring the Lord through understanding and applying His Word. Secondly, there needs to be instruction. This can be accomplished through bible study, books, or even conversations. Thirdly, you need to be open to being an example. Godliness in a believer's life is learned as much (if not more) by watching as it is by listening to instruction (Phil. 3:17). The fourth mark of a discipleship is accountability. This is where most of us balk, avoid discipleship, and become the missing link within the body. By accountability I do not mean picking at others "faults" as we see them. Accountability is encouraging other brothers and sisters to be doers of the word, not just hearers (Jas. 1:22). However, accountability can and does include correction. Sometimes correction is needed due to ignorance, inexperience, sinfulness, or simple foolishness. We need people in our lives who love us enough to speak the truth in love and help provide biblical solutions. The last mark of discipleship that I will mention is encouragement. This is a crucial part of discipleship. Sanctification takes time. While God is working us toward glory, encouragement from other believers is an integral part of that growth (1 Thes. 2:8). At times encouragement keeps us pressing on toward the goal of the upward call (Phil. 3:14).

I pray that these things will ease your conscious and encourage you toward discipleship among your brothers and sisters here at Southside. The marks of discipleship are things that you can immediately put into practice with those around you! Do not allow yourself to be the missing link in our church. Be open to seeking someone to form a relationship with. In the same respect, be open to those who may want to form a relationship with you. Help us cultivate a culture of discipleship at Southside.